It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someone came in the potted fern
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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