Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
