ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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