I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
