yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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