I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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