We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
