Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
