This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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