WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
