It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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