we're blogging at a bar
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
