So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
