is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
