We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
