we're blogging at a bar
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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