I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
