is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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