I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
