So drunk its hurt
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
