i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
