No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize