please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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