i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
