Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
