you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
