I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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