she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
