I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
