bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
