Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
