Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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