: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
