I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
