Pants 0. Shit 1.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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