at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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