this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
