Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
