I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
