I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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