Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
