pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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