May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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