Who did Billy Mays play for?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
