I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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