I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize