why didn't you poke me back
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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