the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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