A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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