it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
