Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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