let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
