id be glad to
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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