Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
