I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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