Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
